Nobody would care about my writing
In January I made a New Year’s resolution to start creating content instead of just reading a lot of stuff. So here I am, three months into the year and I haven’t published a thing.
Now, I could make up a lot of excuses on why that is. I have recently switched from working at vaamo Finanz AG to flinc GmbH and therefore had to tie up loose ends while also facilitating a couple of internal learning sessions at vaamo on topics like Data Warehouse and Business Intelligence, Domain Driven Design, Acceptance Testing and Working with Legacy Code.
However, I realize that I am bullshitting myself quite a bit here. It is not really time-constraints or that I have too many things on my plate right now, that kept me from publishing. I actually have written quite some drafts in advanced stages. I guess the real reason is, that despite my deep resolution to get into publishing more content, I still have a lot of difficulty putting myself out there.
Case in point: I started this post with the intention of writing about the Imposter Syndrom. Well, the definition on wikipedia says:
Impostor syndrome is a concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
However I have kind of a Double Imposter Syndrome situation here, because writing about the Imposter Syndrome means I am attributing high-achieving to myself, which I am actually not comfortable with, at all.
On the other hand I know that from talking to people, that the things I could write and talk about are actually worthwhile for other people. So f*** it, I am still committed to making this work. Stay tuned…
Thanks to @rradczewski and @gtrefs for the nudge I needed to keep going.